


A LBD Seahorses FanFanFiction

by genericfirstname



Category: The LBD Seahorses - Fandom
Genre: Gen, The LBD Seahorses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 17:20:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/689507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfirstname/pseuds/genericfirstname
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is meant to be ridiculous, it is a real person Seahorse fanfanfiction in which Sarah (the author) decides to kill a number of people in the fandom (namely those who gave her permission). Basically I decide the best way to unite the fandom is to create a hateship, Erin+Ian= IRIN and they must die so that we can unite in our hatred. </p><p>The first paragraph: In a distant corner of the fandom somewhere near Australia, Sarah felt a disturbance in the fandom. “Alice, what word do you bring from England?” Alice wasn’t sure when she became Sarah’s second in command, it was probably in response to some misguided affection from Sarah, but she felt she might as well play her part in this ridiculous plot. “The Seahorses are weakening, the feels are being felt,”<br/>“Excellent, I will use this to my advantage.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	A LBD Seahorses FanFanFiction

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s note: This all started because I took a joke in a hangout way too far, I feel strange that I wrote myself into it but it happened and I cannot turn back. Please understand that I am not a creative writer, this will be ridiculous. Also I’m not being special about who I am writing about, these are real people and I’m trying to be respectful whilst also being terrible. Don’t feel that I’m neglecting people in the fandom, some people aren’t written in because I don’t think it is nice to do so without their permission.
> 
> It is meant in the spirit of the following quote by our beloved Jane Austen:
> 
> "Mr. Darcy is not to be laughed at!" cried Elizabeth. "That is an uncommon advantage, and uncommon I hope it will continue, for it would be a great loss to me to have many such acquaintance. I dearly love a laugh."
> 
>   "Miss Bingley," said he, "has given me credit for more than can be. The wisest and the best of men -- nay, the wisest and best of their actions -- may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke."
> 
>   "Certainly," replied Elizabeth -- "there are such people, but I hope I am not one of them. I hope I never ridicule what is wise or good. Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies, do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can.” (Pride and Prejudice chapter 11)

In a distant corner of the fandom somewhere near Australia, Sarah felt a disturbance in the fandom. “Alice, what word do you bring from England?” Alice wasn’t sure when she became Sarah’s second in command, it was probably in response to some misguided affection from Sarah, but she felt she might as well play her part in this ridiculous plot. “The Seahorses are weakening, the feels are being felt,”  
“Excellent, I will use this to my advantage.” 

**

“Shat on a turtle!”  
“Sarah, no one actually said that,” interrupted Lizzie.  
“Yeah, but it’s what I say when I’m trying to segue into random outbursts.”  
“It’s a... an.. Austin Powers reference,” said Austin. Austin actually said this - it just so happens that the Seahorses in attendance had hilariously appropriate names.  
“Right so do you have a point?” inquired Lizzie. Sarah’s one wish in this moment was for Beth to be in attendance so that she could see such creative use of saidisms. The hangout waited silently, “Oh yes, DEATH TO IRIN!” 

Moments earlier, Sarah had explained her plan.  Essentially, it was as follows: Sarah had managed to convince all sectors of the Seahorses fandom that in order to unite the Seahorses, a scapegoat must be selected. Love and compassion do not provide powerful enough incentives; instead, they must be united in mutual hate. Erin and Ian, equally respected members of the Seahorses, were an easy target as they possessed a natural ability to polarise the opinions of fans. How she managed to convince everyone of her hare-brained scheme is beyond this author’s word count, unnecessary details are of course unnecessary. As with all plans there was resistance.  Amelia stood on Erin’s behalf, but she quickly fell. Her writhing body acted as a cruel warning to anyone who stands against Sarah.  No one stood for Ian. That is in fact a lie, Jamie wrote her support in the chat, thus we must clarify, no one paid attention to any support for Ian. 

 

**

“Alice, they run from us, we chase them and we chase them and they just keep running. Tell me oh trusted friend, what should my next move be?” 

“To be clear, I think trusted friend is moving a bit fast-”

“-The spies of Tumblr tell me they hide separately in the fields of fan fiction.”

“Right, so why don’t we go there?”

“But how could we find them when fics are posted daily?”

“We could create a ploy and smoke them out.”

“A most excellent suggestion Alice, we will burn the fields and wait for them to give themselves up. They won’t hide whilst innocent fandom burns to the ground.”

“To be clear, that’s not totally what I meant.”

“You’re equally beautiful and wise, Alice... yeah, I’ll admit I haven’t worked out how to make that sound normal but I’ve been watching so much Parks and Recreation lately-”

“- what are the particulars of your plan?”

**

“LETS GET READY TO TUUUUUMBLLLLLR!” Alice’s battlecry frightened away any wayward lurkers as the first words began to burn. Stalking paragraphs of Dizzie feels, Sarah waited with little patience, “Why do they wait?” Stepping forward, Erin sneered, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.” At this challenge, dramatic tension shifted the body hairs of all spectators in a northerly direction, but Sarah had learnt not to waste time with villainous speeches and promptly removed Erin’s head from her neck. Alice, the diligent deputy, picked up Erin's head, holding it above her own and screaming in victory. Josh, her once loyal disciple, quickly joined the side of Sarah, laughing maniacally at the sudden change in fandom. 

As Sarah gives orders to extinguish the burning, Alice steps forward, “A DAY MAY COME WHEN THE COURAGE OF SEAHORSES FAIL, A DAY WHEN WE FORSAKE OUR FANDOM AND BREAK ALL BONDS OF FANNISH SPACE, BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!” 

**  
Meanwhile in the land of gifs, Jamie heads a resistance, a resistance that would have been successful if it wasn’t for the the devious nature of Josh and his enthusiastic schadenfreude. 

Cornered by Sarah in the Tower of Lizzie Derp Faces, Jamie was defiant,  “I will be ignored no longer!” 

“Well then, try turning your microphone on,” she said as she pushed Jamie through a blank frame to her death.

“AAAAARRRGGHHH!” Sarah’s frustrated scream echoed through the land of gifs.

“We know he’s here, but we haven’t found him yet,” said Alice, wincing.

“I need to find him, IRIN’s reign of terror must end.”

Fortunately, Lane possessed the empathetic skills of that useless Captain Planet kid and was able to feel Ian's whimpering, yet manly cries over the death of Jamie and his impending fate from his hiding place.

"I cannot handle the hate!" screamed Lane as she uncovered Ian and promptly ran away. Once again, Josh laughed with glee.

“Silence fool, I have business to attend to,” Sarah declared as she pushed Ian into an avalanche of Lyckham gifs.

**

Retiring to the Lizzie Bennet Diaries subreddit, Sarah sat back and watched the fandom embrace their varying ideologies, and peace was restored to the fandom. Though some would say that this peace was as fragile as Josh’s desire to start a new war.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the Seahorses who allowed me to portray them fictionally and those that edited this in the G+ hangout.


End file.
